Phil Goldsberry

Ukraine II 008.jpg on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Ukraine 018 on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

I have been asked for a couple of great books that could be used………..

First, I would encourage all parents to contact Focus on the Family and begin receiving their monthly magazine.  (www.focusonthefamily.com or 1-800-A-Family <232-6459>    The insights are wonderful to help keep you balanced and directed.

The bedtime book that I use with our son is “Bedtime Blessings” by Charles R. Swindoll.  It is published by Countryman Publishing.  It is not exclusive for children, but can be adapted.  We have used this book for several years………it is amazing how a devotional can speak to an area of your life when you consistently draw from it.

For those of you with sons………..a must read is “Bringing up Boys” by Dr. James Dobson.  One of the best books ever on raising a son.  In fact Dr. Dobson has written some incredible book on strong willed children, parenting, discipline, etc.

As far as courtship vs. dating……….the classic is by Joshua Harris, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”.

Hopefully this will give you some books to look at for a broader understanding of the great gift of parenthood.

PDG

If you are in the Phoenix area and have been following us online through our online media page…….feel free the join us tomorrow at Christ Life Church,  1137 E. Warner Road here in Tempe.  We will be covering Part II in this insightful, humorous and pertinent topic.

How can a parent share God daily with out overwhelming……. when other parents lives differ?

 My responsibility is to my child/children.  What other parents choose to do………….as diverse as our world is……….is their choice and ultimately their responsibility before God.  In the message last Sunday I made a statement that is profound to all of us……….  There is more CAUGHT that TAUGHT!   That does not remove the teaching component but it places a great responsibility on our lives as parents.  That is one of the reasons that I encourage daily devotional/prayer time with your kids.  It can be 2-5 minutes daily.  You will never know the day that there will be that opportune moment for you or your child to share what is deep in their lives.  When your child knows that you are there consistently, it opens the door communication.   It may not be earth shattering every day, but there will be divine moments and divine appointments.

Does scripture refer to our responsibility for orphans?

27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27 (NLT)

That is pretty straight forward!

Here are some more………….

How do you parent when the decisions you make are done alone even though you are married?

 The commonality of this scenario is played out all across America on a daily basis.  You can have both parents, but one is absent.  Oh they are there physically, but they are not truly there in the life of their child.  Couple of ideas that can help in this area…………..do not be afraid to over communicate with your spouse.  Not implying badgering, but allow the communication to reflect the decisions that are being made.  This can open the door for their involvement or input.  The reason I encourage this, if your spouse is not aware of the circumstances they can feel blind sided when they may suddenly choose to engage with the family.    Next, be Biblically based without Bible banging!  Use the principle of God’s word to stand on.  This may be the very thing that would win over the other parent to understanding Godly principles.

Should parents share the family business or changes with children?

 ”Business” has many facets.  If it is a family owned business, you need to understand the dynamics of everyone involved……..personalities, work ethic, self motivated, etc.  One of the great rewards of a family business is the DNA that is understood and hopefully the trust factor that has been earned.  “Business” from the perspective of finances is another situation.  Of course age appropriateness is first, but there is nothing wrong with giving an overview of how your family makes choices.  You may hide the checkbook from them, but they can see what motivates and what irritates you.  Communication in a family is huge!  Without it, you are inviting confusion.

How do you move past the hurts that your parents put on your heart when you were a child?

Face the reality, if you don’t move past the hurts, they will go with you and pass to those around you.  There is a saying, “Hurt people, hurt people!”  The question is “HOW” though.  The power of His grace allows us to release those things in our lives that He has already forgiven us for.  You may need to verbally ask for forgiveness and release the individual/s that caused the pain.  Bottom line do not allow anyone to stand between you and the God-destined future that He has prepared for you.

As many of you know we had people text in questions in last Sunday’s service about parenting.  We will start the process and see if we can give some insight and help.  Again, I’m not God’s answer man, I am a Pastor that happens to have parented for awhile.   I’m not asking you to agree, I am asking you to think.

Question 1  -My son’s father is not involved in his son’s life… I’m single and less than 30… how do I raise him???

 Many times, single parents try to be something they cannot be.  Wasting precious energy and time to try to “make up” for something or someone.  I highly encourage you to “play” to your strengths and stop trying to improve your weak areas.  Having said all that, your son will need Godly men in his life to influence him.  That can be through family or your church family.  Last, when your child was in your womb, God had plans and purposes for that child………….find out what God has in store for him.  His grace will provide what you need.

Question 2   -What do you do when you are battling with your teenage girl as a single parent?

 One of the keys to success for parenting is establishing and maintaining clear guidelines.  As a single parent the challenge is that you are balancing so many “hats” that it is sometimes easy for issues to fall through the cracks.  One of the things that I have done over the years was enlist God to help me………….if I can’t be the proper advocate or voice to my child, ask God to have some one in my child’s life that will speak truth.  Let this girl know that she is unconditionally loved by you and by God…….you want His best for her.

Question 3   -How do parents impart a sense of “family” to their children in this modern age of multiple marriage grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.  None get along, all live in different states, family reunions are out of the question?

This is such a touchy subject for many people in our country.  We have become transient from one end of this nation to the other.  My wife and I are guilty also.  We have tried to do what we could do to keep family in touch.  One of the blessings we have found in our “church family” is that there have always been strategically, God placed people who stepped up to make the difference in our kids lives.  They have had “surrogate” uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc., all over the country. 

Last,  start traditions of your own that are unique to your family where you are.   Invite others into the sphere, but create traditions that are life-long for your kids.

Stay tuned for more great questions.

PDG

Every decision in life that we make flows from a “value system” that we have inside.  How we speak, react, treat others, respect or the lack thereof, how we spend/save, etc.

We all had events that impacted us in our childhood………………..a major move, divorce, health issue, death, etc.   

We all entered adulthood with the “eyeglasses” of our youth.

We were inculcated with a sense of values that were handed to us from:

·         Our environment (North, South, East and West)

·         Our Socio-economic status

·         Our Ethnic heritage

·         Our Religious Foundation

·         Our Family…………as good/bad as it was

This was the premise for today’s message.  Now, what do we do with the knowledge?  There is a war on our values, but how will we implement our strategies?  Here in America we have been so blessed……….in ways past what we ever could dream or imagine.  We must not let the blessings become a curse.

As you read the following (The Shema - see note below) , ask yourself how you are reproducing values in yourself, your family and those around you.

4 “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.
5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.  6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.  7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.  8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders.
9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.  10 “The Lord your God will soon bring you into the land he swore to give you when he made a vow to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. It is a land with large, prosperous cities that you did not build.
11 The houses will be richly stocked with goods you did not produce. You will draw water from cisterns you did not dig, and you will eat from vineyards and olive trees you did not plant. When you have eaten your fill in this land,  12 be careful not to forget the Lord, who rescued you from slavery in the land of Egypt. Deuteronomy 6:4-12 (NLT)

^[1]